Monday, December 27, 2010

Are you Happy?

What a question.


Sometimes…..I catch the sunny part of the day, the subway comes right when I hit the last step down onto the platform, I feel pretty.

Sometimes…. I go all day without seeing the sun, I can’t seem to get anywhere- even when no one’s waiting, I feel old.

I believe that this question is a complicated one to consider.

Lately, though, happiness or the feeling of being happy has been unsteady.

I find myself trying to get off on cheap thrills (escapes) like gossip girl, face book stalking and OK magazine.

But not even the scandalous lives of the Upper East Side seem to keep my wavering happiness from unwavering.

In the past when feeling like this, I found it necessary to do something different something bold.

In the past I have gotten tattoos, started a new major, spent a summer abroad.

All of which I thought would change me somehow, in a way that I would be able to keep with me.

But, as time passes so did that thrill (escape) and the same familiar feeling creeps back like a conscience or deep regret.

What will it be this time?